21st

The boat has sunk. It wasn’t seaworthy for a long time but it still floated even years after it should have just allowed inevitable things to happen. Perhaps it’s commitment that keeps it afloat even when it’s sad and knows it should sink. It doesn’t know how to sink because it’s a boat and boat is supposed to stay topside always, no matter what.

When it finally gives in to disrepair and gravity, the water starts to trickle in. There’s a feeling of anxiety because this time the water is different, it won’t go away. Instead it pulls the boat down allowing more water to come in. The boat has no choice other than to allow the water in but there’s the old nature so it begins to struggle a little trying to stay afloat but soon enough it knows the struggle is futile.

My boat finally sunk on the 21st of this month. It stayed afloat for more years than it should have but I don’t regret any of those years, I’m glad for them. I’m also hopeful for what comes next. For me hope isn’t something you do while wishing on a star and waiting. For me hope is something you do while creating a path towards a better future. I’m on that path and the first few steps are looking good.

Boat in Water

abandoned boat

Looking Down

When flying I always assign myself a seat to ensure I get a window seat. I like looking out the window down at the different landscapes. Passing over towns and trying to get an idea of where I am and what the town is like is what I do. This was on the way to Arizona.

Up High

Mountains

Tennessee

Last night I returned from a four-day vacation to Tennessee. My stops were Nashville and Memphis. There’s a stark contrast between the two. One thing is common in both and that’s heat. It was really hot and humid. I like both of those things and I like both of those places.

Nashville

Nashville

Sunflowers

There are things in life a man holds dear to his heart. Things that are such a part of his life they make up who he is. A man will lay down his life and sacrifice so much to preserve them. Freedom is one of those things and family is another. There are other things but I imagine these two are so important that for most they rule.

Sun Flowers

Sun Flowers

The loss of freedom, ┬ádeath of a family member and divorce are three things that have a profound impact on the spirit of a man. I compare those last two closely because the pain you feel from losing them are not unlike. I’ve never experienced the first. ┬áMy heart is heavy always as I think about the loss of my family.