The Grind

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Thinking back to when I was so looking forward to self employment I always pictured it to be a life of ease and harmony, anything but the bank. While I will say I am so much happier now than I was there I am finding myself looking forward to my days off lately, something that I have not experienced really in these four or so years since leaving the bank. Wow I can't believe it's been that long. It seems like just yesterday I would drag myself in and sit in front of the PC for hours surfing the entire internet day after day…whatever that's done now I need to stop comparing things to the bank. Why do I always do that?

So here I am now busy as hell and working day and night basically. The only time I worked more was at the factory (Sweepsters) and it's interesting that I still think about that place too. Actually I have dreams about that place once in a while and find myself working there again with the old crew. In my dreams I am always going back to the factory after a time away but nothing has changed and I am not sad to be there, it's almost like a reunion or a "coming home" where I belong type feeling. In the back of my mind I've always thought I could go back if nothing else worked out as if it was a safety. My departure was quick but not a lateral move at all as I left the place for a desk job but making less. I was only there for around three years but it seemed like much longer. Here I go again reminiscing about times past again.

Now I am REALLY self employed, yup that's right. I've passed that three year mark out on my own relying only on referrals, hard work, determination and a bit of luck I suppose. At first I really leaned on the "luck" part and really could not figure out how the work just keeps coming though I've always felt I did a thorough job and that by doing so I should make it. My philosophy has always been to hold fast to the idea that a thorough inspection with only the client's best interest in mind is what will build your business. Along the way there were times when I had doubts, as things slowed down a bit, but I learned too that's business. Sometimes it does slow down but now instead of going into panic mode I enjoy those times a bit more knowing that business will, has to, resume. These days, and for a long time, I am working a full load even turning work away consistently enough so that I have hired another inspector. That process is going slower than I hoped for but I am patient.

I suppose as with anything you do there comes a time when you get into sort of a rut and take things for granted, I'm good at doing that I know, but I do appreciate where I am in business. I have to think back to the long nights working at the bank wishing I was home or seeing my kids for only a short while before heading out the door to work. Now at least I am home each night although there are times when I wish I was not home but that's part of being a parent I guess.

Hmm boring blog but just some thoughts I wanted to put down here. Oh there's always vacations. I am heading up north at the end of this month and again the end of next month. 



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  I've always felt it's alright to be content with whatever you do in terms of work. While I can't say I've been content throughout most of my working life I have met several people, in the same position as me, that seemed content with their jobs. There have even been times when when I was really unhappy with a job yet some around me seemed to be fine with the position. I think it has more to do with attitude than position. 

 Growing up my dad sometimes talked about how hard he worked as a child in Mexico to help support the family. He would go to school after working and then work more when he got out. Then there were times when he would have to leave school early in the year to work in the fields to bring in income. His had work was something I always looked up to and hard work has always appealed to me. I mean the thought of digging a trench under the hot sun sounds alright to me. Unfortunately that type of manual labor doesn't pay the bills these days.

 Recently I was thinking about my situation and how I am starting to feel content but somewhat uncomfortable with that. In a way I see it as being lazy or unwilling to improve my situation. While I do really enjoy what I do and make decent money I also know business could be better but for some reason the urge to make it grow is all but gone. The thought of being so busy I don't have time for anything other than business makes me uncomfortable, I burned the candle at both ends for too long to get here,  but having a day or two without work makes me uncomfortable too. I get antsy when there's noting to do especially when there's nothing lined up. Another thing that's always in the back of my mind is what if business just stops all together and I have no leads or work? In the years I've been doing this I think about that whenever I have an unscheduled day off, three this week. I don't know, coming back recently from a vacation where I didn't make a dime probably adds to this paranoia. 

 I'm off to inspect a home……