I love livejournal for all the groups but this place is lonely. : (
This is going to be a particularly busy week with work so I don’t know if I will have the time to hit the gym more than perhaps once during the week but I will make up for it on the weekend. Truthfully I could get to the gym in between jobs but I need to use the time for a nap so I don’t feel like crap by mid week. The good thing about these types of weeks is they go by fast and before you know it, it’s the weekend again. I’m particularly excited about this weekend as we’re going out on Saturday night, it’s been a while since we’ve been to the city for a night out.
Over the weekend I went to the gym with my wife and we both did workout #1 with some cardio. after. For me a mile was enough but she did three I think. Other than that eating has been good but I haven’t weighed myself in a few days. My weight has been about the same for at least three months and I expect it hasn’t changed so I’m not concerned with jumping on the scale.
Today I was doing workout #3 but having a difficult time with some of the exercises. I think I overdid it in the beginning so by the time I got half way into the routine my arms were like noodles. As a result I had to grab some exercises from workout #2 which focus on the mid section, not so bad considering I was still able to get in a good workout.
It must be the weather, a few inches of snow last night, because there were hardly any people in the gym other than the usual crowd that probably wouldn’t miss for anything. Having fewer people in the gym works to my advantage as I don’t have to wait for benches or free weights. It’s a great gym but the area with dumbbells has only two incline benches and today there were three huge guys using one of them the whole time. These guys were pushing some serious fucking weight too.
Leaving the gym I was feeling pretty spent but craving some cardio. I have to admit there’s more satisfaction for me when I do HIIT than weight training. With weight training I often feel disappointed in what little weight I am able to pull but I know it’s just something that will take time and dedication to improve. I have to stick with it to see results. When I pulled in the driveway I decided to break out the snow shovel, something I NEVER do, and clean up the driveway and sidewalk. My neighbors will probably appreciate it and it was a little workout for me too. A win win I suppose but not something I plan to make a habit of.
I would love to make it up to the gym tomorrow for some HIIT but my schedule is so full I don’t think I will get the chance. Thursday I will continue my workout plan.
My eating has continued to be decent with an occasional treat but my weight remains at 155 which is good and bad. The good is I know I am not gaining fat but I’m also not gaining as much muscle as I would like. I was hoping to be up to around 163 by now with the gain being in muscle mass. This is mostly due to not working out as much as I should. The idea was to weight train three times a week and do HIIT once a week but it’s been more like lifting twice a week with HIIT happening next to never. I’ve never been good with maintaining a constant routine so I need to mix it up a little especially on those days I don’t want to go.
This Saturday and Sunday my wife and I went to the gym together for some HIIT and damn it felt great! We were there for a short time, about 30 minutes with ten minutes of warm up and cool down, but left sweaty and definitely feeling like we got in a good workout. Really I’m not so focused on losing lots of fat so doing HIIT will be limited to once a week hopefully with my wife on the weekends.
Tomorrow I’m doing Workout #3 of the Growth Accelerator Workout which will put me on the schedule of Tuesday workout 3, Thursday workout 1 and Saturday or Sunday workout 2. As I predicted I’m finding myself getting tired of trying to get in good shape but I have a weapon that wasn’t available in the past which is my wife who is going at it strong and inspires me with her determination and how far she’s come in this lifestyle.
I’ve been trying to stay away from Asian style buffets considering there’s seldom anything healthy served and it’s difficult to find one around here with decent food. There’s a local spot that’s, in my opinion, particularly bad tasting but for some reason ends up in front of me at least twice a year. There’s never a time when I think, damn china king sounds good as hell right now, and in fact when I think of the place I curl my upper lip in disgust.
Tonight was one of those nights I decided to give it another try and had a plan to stick with simple white rice, chicken and vegetables. Seriously, how can you fuck up something so simple? Walking up to the buffet the idea of actually enjoying myself crossed my mind until I reached the display of doom. The selection is always really limited to breaded and fried everything with one or two trays being somewhat healthy, I served myself a “normal” sized portion and began my effect eating. Sure enough it was bland and required a good amount of soy sauce to even remotely enjoy. My co-workers on the other hand had heaps of fried chicken and beef smothered in sweet-n-sour sauce which I have to admit look way better than what was on my plate. No matter, I wasn’t about to waste a bad/unhealthy meal on the likes of the stuff served in that place.
Being disappointed already was made all the worse by the sorry excuse for what they call coffee. Its one thing to serve cheap crummy coffee but to water it down is just taking it to another level of shit hole dinning. Even with two crèmes and two sugars it still tasted bad. Hell, with all the doctoring I did to this meal I should have just got a damn plate of sweet and sour chicken with fried rice, I’m so damn unsatisfied which can lead to really bad decisions like chocolate doughnuts from the machine down the hall. I’m not even going there.
In the end it serves me right for thinking it would somehow be different.
Today I decided to step outside of my usual workout routine and try some exercises I was doing during my previous workout. For me routine always leads to disinterest and ultimately a complete loss of interest so mixing it up a little is a great way to motivate me.
I started off with an exercise ball doing elevated push-ups and bringing my legs towards my chest, can’t remember the name of the exercise but it works great. After that I did some triceps dips followed by forward lunges. My routine was limited to those four exercises and lasted only 45 minutes but either way it felt great to do something different and just do something period. There’s no way I can make it to the gym tomorrow and Friday looks like it’s not going to happen either so I’m counting on my partner to go with me this weekend.
While I’ve known a good number of friends and acquaintances who have passed away I’m always most effected by those who I believe to be “good people” or to have reason to live. That’s not to say I think any of them deserved to die but there are those who certainly deserved to live. Out of those I’ve known, there have been a few who have taken their own lives. A few days ago someone I considered an acquaintances, a moderator from a forum I frequent, took his life at the young age of 21. There were no signs or indication this person was in the depths of depression other than the occasional comment about being upset or bummed for whatever reason, much like what everyone deal with. The extent of his problems were not know by anyone other than perhaps his closest friends and family.
When I think about my life at the age of 21 I remember having felt like there was more in life for me and so many things I wanted to discover. Having a family and someone I could love and cherish were probably the things I thought about most. That was also a time when I was in a deep depression feeling like life was pointless with little to no meaning. It’s difficult for some to relate to what could drive a person to take their own life but for those of us who have felt that deep pain and the hopelessness that comes with depression it’s familiar. I think about all I would have missed had I taken that path and am grateful for the person in my life who helped me by just being there. For Cain I imagine he must have felt like there was no one to turn to and no hope for things to be better. In fact his note said he couldn’t live like this any longer.
Cain was different than most in that he not only had a genuine desire to help others, he put his desire to action and planned to join the force to, in his words, “find a way to serve others.” When I think of a depressed person, someone who wants to be a help to others doesn’t come to mind. That’s what was most shocking to me when I heard he took his life. He was a really good kid with great intentions and bright future. At the same time I feel anger for his having caused so much pain to his family. What it must have been like for them to find him that way is unimaginable. I wish I could have talked to him on that day to let him know things can and do get better and to hold onto the gift of life. He would have seen that if he just held on.
My week has been less than great concerning my eating habits. I’ve tried to stay the course and continue to eat plenty of vegetables but having gone out to eat at least twice I’ve had things I might not have otherwise eaten. A big part of the issue is not preparing, and sticking with, meals at home. We have plenty of “good” food but I think I only cooked one meal, stir fry, this week. That was really good and I finished it up for lunch yesterday but today I had a three egg omelet w/spinach and feta cheese. Unfortunately the breakfast came with hash-browns which I ate almost all of.
Finishing that off I figured at least the rest of my night would be good until I got to work and a co-worker displayed cookies. I didn’t even think not to eat them and promptly grabbed two along with two hershey’s kissed. They were delicious but now I feel guilty. I’m not even going to beat myself up over it though but I’m just worried that things could be back to the way they were with no concern of self control. My weight has been the same for at least two months now but this week with the bad food choices and having gone to the gym only once, I’m feeling crummy. Tomorrow we’re going to Chicago. A trip I know will involve some bad food choices. I’m looking forward to the trip AND the food.
Come Monday it’s time to really focus and get back at healthy food and regular exercise.