Years have been spent coming to this spot. Sometimes I’d take one of the kids or a decent camera in an attempt to enjoy nature but for the most part I’ve come to this far away spot to worry. Sitting here I think about my problems where they would become mountains. I’ve sat here and felt hopeless, afraid, angry, sad and defeated so many times that it’s hard to walk this path without feeling at least one of those emotions or at least remembering what troubles I’ve faced and am facing.
This walk was different in that while I did use the bench to contemplate my worries I also have been aware of how I use this place that I claim to enjoy so much as a place of worry. I don’t want it to be that anymore; at least I don’t want it to be a place where I always go to worry. I want it to be a place where I feel connected with nature and not a battleground for my emotions. This time I decided not to fight my feelings or judge them. The air smelled different and I heard sounds I’d not noticed so much before.