When you are with me and fall into my arms I wonder if you can feel how hard my heart is beating. When you hold my hand and I kiss it I wonder if you can tell I’m a little nervous and that’s just my way. When we kiss I wonder if you can tell how much I adore you.
When crossing a bridge I imagine the air will feel different on the other side and sometimes it does.
This morning I reached the peak of a roof and stopped to take in the beauty of these trees.
They say to guard your heart. I say don’t. I’ve always been one to give my heart away easily and admit too that it has caused heartache but I think it’s such an amazing feeling, to love freely, that I would do it as many times as I can. What I’ve learned is to love yourself first.
When I mentioned I could smell coconut you told me it was a body spray you really like. What trickery. I fucking love coconut. When we kiss, you like to caress my face. I haven’t told you, and I won’t, but I really dig that and hope you keep doing it. Your hair is long and it falls into your face sometimes so you tuck it behind your ear. I think that’s cute. A couple of times I’ve brushed it back for you. To be honest I used it as a way to get close and to kiss you again. You don’t say anything but I can tell you really like that so I’ll keep doing it. When we said our goodbyes you held my hand and I kissed yours. Some things don’t need to be said.
“Good morning sweetie. How are you today?”
I looked at the text a few times and smiled before sending my reply. That was the first time.
When your marriage dies a long painful death you forget or at least pretend you don’t need certain things. Over time the idea of hearing or saying something kind seems unnecessary and fake. The truth is everyone wants to be told they’re appreciated and cared for.
“I’m doing good beautiful, how are you?” A sincere compliment to someone who thinks I’m ok, gives me a big hug whenever we meet, smiles and looks at me that way. I never forgot those things but I forgot how much I missed them.
The Mystery Meat 