These past few days I’ve visited my mother more times than I usually do in a month. That’s a shame I know but there are reasons for this. Being there makes me think back on my childhood and sometimes it’s a little uncomfortable but still there’s the feeling of being at home you only get when with your mother or father. We talk, or I should say she talks mostly and I listen. I realize too that she’s lonely and wants people to talk to so when she gets a chance she likes to really let herself be heard.
As I get older though I understand with maturity comes the ability to be able to look past certain characteristics in a person and focus on what they mean to you. Of course there are some characteristics that you should never be alright with or pretend to be alright with but when it comes to family it’s worth making that effort to see past some things. She’s my mother, the only mother I will ever have and in her health I wonder how long I will be able to sit with her. She told me today she loves when I come over but I already know that and I was happy to be there. While I was visiting she made a call to a friend, I swear she makes so many calls, and mentioned to the person that I was over and how much she loves it when I came over. I smiled but still felt sad that I allow so much time to pass between visits.
I fell asleep on the couch for a little while as she watched some totally inappropriate talk show, you know the kind, while making phone calls. Laying there I felt comfortable having that feeling you get when you go home. I miss that feeling but I won’t miss it for long as I plan to spend more time with my mother. The differences won’t mean anything and I will forget them allowing myself to enjoy being around her. I think that’s something we both deserve but I know too it won’t always be easy. That alright she’s my mother. I’d like to spend that time with dad too.