Day: August 8, 2013


Clean Your Room

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Inspecting multi-family properties is always interesting especially when in a college town. The contrast between one apartment and the next can be quite significant with a notable difference when one is owned by a female and the other a male. I have to wonder if there’s something about the way a guy is wired that makes him feel it’s fine to leave rotted food, garbage, clothes and all manner of filth throughout their place? There are exceptions to this of course but most of the time it’s the guy who has the dirty apartment. Going into an apartment occupied by a female usually presents nice flowery smells and tidy shelves just like I like things to be.

Thinking back to when I got my first apartment I always hoped it would be spotless with everything in order. Not all labels facing forward order but just tidy and clean. Somewhere along the way though I lost that desire and my apartment was not unlike the ones I sometimes inspect now. Trying to remember why I allowed this to happen I can only think it was just easier to let it go than to clean it up. Dishes piled sky high and clothes on the bedroom floor was a common thing. My newly acquired wife was not one to complain and contributed to it just as much as I did.

If I go even further back to my childhood my room was a total disaster. Not just dirty but really really dirty. There were bannana peels, plates of half eaten food, clothes and discarded snack bags/containers all over. I would simply clear a way for my Atari or Nintendo and my mother rarely told me to clean my room. Was there something imprinted in my mind during those years that prevented me from having a clean apartment as an adult? I think not actually. In fact I think it was during those times that I began to despise a messy room/house only allowing it to happen in my apartment because of laziness. Now I like my home to be cleanish. By cleanish I mean it’s ok to stuff things in my basement corners or closet but the areas where people see, that’s got to be clean.



More Memories

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The other day my youngest was watching Mork & Mindy on some retro cable channel upstairs. When she asked me about the show I said I remembered it as a kid and thought it was funny. As we age things change though and I found the show to be annoying and quite unfunny. How there was a time when I liked it I don’t know but then again I used to like candy, all kinds of candy, which I don’t care for anymore. It’s just one of those things I guess. Oh but I do like spinach now which I detested as a kid.

Around the time I watched Mork & Mindy we lived in an apartment off Michigan Ave. in Ypsilanti I think call Park-view at the time or perhaps Triangle West? I don’t remember but we actually lived in both of them. There was a guy that lived on the lower level who we used to tease whenever we ran around the halls jetting out the exit near his patio door. He always had his patio door open with bead curtains and birds, I remember birds that were always making noise, sitting in their cages just inside the doorway. He would be there on his chair looking out and as we passed would talk smack like, “asshole” (yes I know that’s uncool sorry I was like 10) or “homeboy.” Later on I would find out my other friends were calling him homo but I didn’t know that word or what it meant so I said homeboy.

This poor guy never said a word but just sat there looking at us like we were a bunch of little bastards and we were. We terrorized the apartment halls running around knocking on doors then running, yelling and playing gun games or whatever. Come to think of it I don’t know how we got away with being so rowdy and rude. It wasn’t until I finally got my first bike that I spent less time being a bastard in the halls.

One day the nephew of my mothers boyfriend, Milton,  came over so we decided to show him the ropes in the halls teaching him how we do it. When we got to the exit near the doorway of our frequently taunted victim we wanted to pick up the taunting a few notches to show off for Milton. The taunts were followed by a few curse words and I called him “homeboy” in an especially rude tone which for some reason was the final straw. Why “homeboy” set him off I don’t know but he sprung to his feet and made a dash for his doorway to the patio which was feet from the walkway. This grown man was coming after us and we took off running.

Those of us who knew the area well scattered into the building with a few others out towards the driveway. Milton was new at this so he panicked and running towards the doorway he ran into the glass doorway. There were two glass doorways that separated the metal door in the middle both being clear glass so it looked like they were just openings. If he had a few seconds to think about it he would have known better. Really why would you have a solid door with two door sized openings on either side with no glass? It’s stupid. Milton ran head first into the glass and it shattered in millions of little shards but thankfully being a safety glass it didn’t break into sword sized chunks. Still Milton got cut up on his arm and hand requiring some stitches.

I can’t remember what exactly happened directly after that but the next day the glass was replaced this time with metallic stickers dotted across mid level. This was done to let other  people know “this is not an opening idiot. ” After that happened we never said another word to “homeboy” and he never said anything to us. Knowing he would come after us was enough to deter us from talking trash.

That's me in the middle extending my hands as if to present a large phallus to the picture taker. What a little punk.
That’s me in the middle extending my hands as if to present a large phallus to the picture taker. What a little punk.