Shit my mom says


Recently I purchased one of those memory foam mattresses, best sleep ever. I decided to keep my old matters just in case I didn't like the foam one. My mother called me last week, knowing I kept the mattress, and asked if she could have it. Happy to get rid of it I sad yes.

Today she came over and picked it up. After we got it loaded up she said, "I'm honored to have your old bed. After all my grand kids were made on it."  



  • Your Mom’s presumption cracks me up. You could have made up a good elevator story you know.

    She’s right though – she’s going to have to do some heavy feng shui, sage and sunshine, to remove your energy.


  • A mom is someone who cleaned us of poop. So, being embarrassed about anything they might know is an artificial artifice we create.

    I’m quite happy with that illusion.


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