Month: April 2012

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Shit my mom says


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Recently I purchased one of those memory foam mattresses, best sleep ever. I decided to keep my old matters just in case I didn't like the foam one. My mother called me last week, knowing I kept the mattress, and asked if she could have it. Happy to get rid of it I sad yes.

Today she came over and picked it up. After we got it loaded up she said, "I'm honored to have your old bed. After all my grand kids were made on it."  

WTF!!

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Content


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  I've always felt it's alright to be content with whatever you do in terms of work. While I can't say I've been content throughout most of my working life I have met several people, in the same position as me, that seemed content with their jobs. There have even been times when when I was really unhappy with a job yet some around me seemed to be fine with the position. I think it has more to do with attitude than position. 

 Growing up my dad sometimes talked about how hard he worked as a child in Mexico to help support the family. He would go to school after working and then work more when he got out. Then there were times when he would have to leave school early in the year to work in the fields to bring in income. His had work was something I always looked up to and hard work has always appealed to me. I mean the thought of digging a trench under the hot sun sounds alright to me. Unfortunately that type of manual labor doesn't pay the bills these days.

 Recently I was thinking about my situation and how I am starting to feel content but somewhat uncomfortable with that. In a way I see it as being lazy or unwilling to improve my situation. While I do really enjoy what I do and make decent money I also know business could be better but for some reason the urge to make it grow is all but gone. The thought of being so busy I don't have time for anything other than business makes me uncomfortable, I burned the candle at both ends for too long to get here,  but having a day or two without work makes me uncomfortable too. I get antsy when there's noting to do especially when there's nothing lined up. Another thing that's always in the back of my mind is what if business just stops all together and I have no leads or work? In the years I've been doing this I think about that whenever I have an unscheduled day off, three this week. I don't know, coming back recently from a vacation where I didn't make a dime probably adds to this paranoia. 

 I'm off to inspect a home……

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My head might explode!!


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 I've never been good at dealing with stress or any uncomfortable emotion for that matter. Not that I am constantly stressed but there are some things that really get me going and sometimes I'm so out of control with stress that I want to scream. When my plate is full I thrive and love to handle several projects at once. Something about it gives me a kind of high. But when my plate is full and includes things I have no control over I stress out. Come to think of it I guess I'm sort of a control freak. I mean if I don't like being involved in something I don't have control over that's obviously a control issue. I think I need to learn to deal with that somehow so it doesn't stress me out so much. Avoiding those situations all together isn't an option but knowing that you can't control everything is something I need to remember.