Over three months ago I was let go from my regular FT job so by now I should be settled in to this "new life." The thing is I feel like a fetus just outside of the womb. Exposed to the world yet still attached to this big bitch on the other end of the life giving cord. That bitch would be my former employer of course and in no way a reference to mothers throughout. Anyone who can carry around a child for nine months and push the large parasite out of…anyway. So here I am well into my semi departure and feeling attached still. Once the severance package runs out, April 1st, I will REALLY be out on my own. Business is well enough, in fact better than expected, so no worries I think.
I’m just tired all the time now. It seems like wake up time comes too early and bed time comes later than it should. I find myself laying in bed before ten having a hard time keeping my eyes open, is that normal? Lets see, if I get up at 7am and get to bed at 10pm that’s only 15 hours of awake time. That seems about right to me but when I was at the bank it was more like up at 7 and to bed at around 2ish which is of course stupid and not something one can get used to.
Here’s another part of the problem. There are days when I don’t have a job lined up and time seems to drag on forever with mindless web surfing and nothingness. Sadder still is knowing there are things I could/should be doing during these long boring hours but I lack the motivation. I’m in a funk I suppose. Actually that’s just an excuse to avoid admitting I’ve become a lazy fool. I’ve got a gym membership and more than enough marketing ideas yet sitting in this chair is easier and takes little effort. Before my afternoon job I’ll do laundry and sort the mountain of mail on the printer.