While I don’t consider myself anything close to being an alcoholic I do know given the right mix of company and alcohol I am prone to having little to no control of what I think or say. The most unreasonable ridiculous thing I can muster up in my twisted mind will seem to me like an almost certainty building steam as it festers. Unfortunately once I reach that point I’m like an unreasonable fool letting the flood gates open. Even in that froth of madness I know I’m being a fool but I just can’t stop. It’s like, “sure I know this is fucked up but it’s what I feel so I’m saying it anyway.” Even to the point where I am angry with my inability to just shut the fuck up already.
Waking up the next morning to that realization is the absolute worse case of “damn I blew it” I’ve experienced. So what’s a fella to do? Stop drinking? Hell no I like my stout and amber beers but I do know it has to be in the right place at the right time. I’m finished with those shitty morning afters. Totally not worth it and completely unacceptable.