Month: July 2008

 The arms, shoulders and back hurt like a mofo today so I didn’t go to the gym. I did however hit up the local sushi spot for some goodness. Tomorrow I’ve got big plans though.

Like Miss Jessica always said

There’s always tomorrow
For dreams to come true
Believe in your dreams, come what may.
There’s always tomorrow
WIth so much to do
And so little time in a day.

We all pretend the rainbow has an end
And you’ll be there, my friend, some day.
There’s always tomorrow
For dreams to come true
Tomorrow is not far away.

We all pretend the rainbow has an end
And you’ll be there, my friend, some day
There’s always tomorrow
For dreams to come true
Tomorrow is not far away.

When I crave things I wonder if it’s because my body it lacking some mineral found in what I’m craving. Today I was dying for some Sushi but realized it wasn’t just the sushi but the soy sauce to go with it. Together they make a great combination of texture and flavor. Instead I ate some pasta and hummus but even then I was still thinking of the sushi.  

Today I finally made it up to the gym after putting it off for months. Damn I can’t believe that much time has passed.  Going in I wasn’t sure if I would just stick with the weights or do some running so I just did some upper body training for half an hour and feeling a little tight I figured I should ease into it and take it easy at first. Not wanting to leave just yet I made my way over to the tread mills and went for a two mile run which wasn’t quite as hard as I would have thought but certainly nothing to be proud of. In all honesty I was sweating my ass off at 4.5mph and having a hell of a time.

I’ve always said I’d stay away from those store front type gyms because I associate them with, well.. being trashy or whatever. This place however seems fine and really I can’t be worried about the oompa loompa tan roided out guido standing next to me even if he were to show up. I’m there to do my thing and stay focused.

I plan to head up tomorrow but I’m not sure about the workout or having a routine to stick with. Having everything written out is probably a good idea for me knowing if I have a certain number of sets and reps to do, written on paper,  I will be more likely to do them. On the other hand the thought of sticking with a specific routine never has worked for me. For now I will just show up and see where it takes me.

Naps are a wonderful thing but for me seldom come at a good time. Our bed these days is so comfortable it’s hard to get out of and laying down for a minute will most likely turn into a nap. Today I got up early, went to a meeting followed by breakfast with my wife and a nap right after. The sleep was decent but waking up I feel like I’ve lost the day.

All those months I’ve waited for summer heat and here I am watching it slip away while I hide.

This weekend we went to Fitness 19 to check the place out and sign up so we can get back in the swing of things. Not that I’m using this as an excuse for not working out because I’ve had a membership at our local LifeTime Fitness for quite a while but stopped going. The difference between the two is about $100 per month with Fitness 19 having pretty much the basics, treadmills, elliptical, free weights and hammer strength weights. All the bells and whistles are missing but I never used them anyway.

Aside from the financial savings with the new place it’s less intimidating and really is just a place you go into, do your business and hit the road which is exactly what I plan to do. I’m undecided in what exactly I’m going to work on tough because I need so much improvement in all areas. I love the idea of running but want to hit the weights too so I suppose I have to find a routine or dig up one of my old ones. The idea of lifting twice a week and running twice a week sounds great but I can’t say I will be able to commit to four days, at least not while I’m still working the PT day job and FT night job. Today I wanted to get up there but after the morning job I didn’t have it in me knowing I had to be here tonight.

Something else I’m excited about is getting back to decent eating habits on a regular basis. Not to say I’ve been out of control at all. Thinking back I believe there was only like a week or two that I was not even watching what I was eating but at least I was aware of it and not comfortable with the bad foods. I want to get back to healthy food and healthy portions which I know will help in the overall objective to get fit. I’ve not stepped on the scale for a while but I would guess my weight to be around 155 which for someone at 5’11” is fine really other than I need to loose some fat and gain muscle. I’d be happy to lose say 7 pounds  of fat and gain 17 pounds of muscle. It can’t be that hard can it?

Those were in fact the days.

Third day of the week and I can’t seem to snap out of this funk. Made some bad choices this weekend which I feel terrible for but I can’t let it do this to me. What I need to do is stop it in its tracks and push forward. My mind doctor told me it’s unfortunate but not the end of the world, I tend to agree. If nothing else I’ve learned from it and at least know what not to do when. Sitting here in my cube bored out of my mind with six hours to go it’s hard to take that step just this second. 

Tomorrow it’s pancakes for breakfast and a trip with the kiddies to the botanical gardens for some much needed outside air.

While I don’t consider myself anything close to being an alcoholic I do know given the right mix of company and alcohol I am prone to having little to no control of what I think or say. The most unreasonable ridiculous thing I can muster up in my twisted mind will seem to me like an almost certainty building steam as it festers. Unfortunately once I reach that point I’m like an unreasonable fool letting the flood gates open. Even in that froth of madness I know I’m being a fool but I just can’t stop. It’s like, “sure I know this is fucked up but it’s what I feel so I’m saying it anyway.” Even to the point where I am angry with my inability to just shut the fuck up already.

Waking up the next morning to that realization is the absolute worse case of “damn I blew it” I’ve experienced. So what’s a fella to do? Stop drinking? Hell no I like my stout and amber beers but I do know it has to be in the right place at the right time. I’m finished with those shitty morning afters. Totally not worth it and completely unacceptable.