Being a lover of coffee, and somewhat of a coffee snob, I would never give the machines in our break room a chance in hell knowing what came out would be a putrid watered down broth. For me coffee has to have a smooth taste and must be created using proper beans. The variety offered in the machines must be like the apples used to make cider, old and not something to be used or sold in any form that might allow the customer to see what goes in. Oh I’ve seen where cider is made and how a shovel is used to pick up the filthy, half rotten, apples off the equally filthy floor. There’s no way a vending machine would offer anything resembling quality black gold.
Last week, to celebrate the grand opening of yet another break room, the vendors offered free drinks from the coffee machine for a week. The only thing I was remotely interested in was the hot chocolate which was of course drained before I got a chance. A coworker that sits in the cube next to mine was drinking coffee and it smelled really good which got my coffee itch going full force. I mentioned my need for coffee and she said the machine had free coffee that tasted pretty decent. My reaction was to stick my letter opener in her eye and twist. Well that’s what I wanted to do anyway. Being completely desperate I figured what the hell, it’s free so what do I have to loose. If it tastes like I think it will I will just dump it on her head, a win win. So we made our way to the break room and she suggested the Cafe Latte w/sugar. I entered the three digit code and the cup dropped into place held by encrusted metal spatulas. The machine made a sound like it was grinding the beans, and maybe it was, followed by liquid dripping and beeping sound indicating the delicious beverage was ready to “enjoy.”
Taking the cup I wasted no time tasting the coffee and hoping for something at least tolerable. To my surprise I found it to be a little more than tolerable, in fact it was strangely good. No good like a smooth cup of coffee from a coffee shop but good like a coffee you would drink in a metal shop or some place that involved oil, rubber and stamping machines. I walked back to my department, finished off the cup, and found myself craving that weird machine like taste again.
Today is the second day I’ve paid 75 cents for something I vowed to stay away from.
2.26.08
Stil drinking this stuff like twice a week.
The Mystery Meat 
