When life is good I find it difficult to share my thoughts on this platform. My intention is always to share something here to look back on but I’ve always associated this blog with chaos in my life so that’s what I privately write down, my problems. Those posts are always there waiting for me to read again and think about those problems. I want this blog to be something different. I’d like to visit here in a year or so and see a nice picture or quick post about something good in my life, not tragedy.
There’s a local nature preserve that I’ve been visiting regularly for the past 25 or so years. It’s a place I discovered when I was in my early 20’s while out searching for garage sales. Being newly married, my life was, in many ways, just starting on the path of adulthood. There were plenty of trails to explore and I was determined to walk all of them. It was my place to watch and listen to nature. I grew up on those trails.
My walks started out great then as life threw me curveballs, as life does, I started to visit the trails and think about my latest tragedy. The sights became a blur and the sounds muted as I was stuck in my thoughts. This carried on for years, my place to go and think about my problems. Eventually I learned to accept that life does not follow a path you’ve created in your head but happens regardless of your best laid plans, some things are just out of your control. Being in the moment as much as possible is a key to enjoying life. When I visit the trails I just look and listen. Now I see the deer and trees for what they are again.
If I can use that tactic here it might help me to create a better history of myself.